Whats jokes
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.