Whats jokes
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac + 2Pac = 4Pac
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.