Whats jokes
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
What's black and white?
History.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.