Whats jokes

What feature does an orphan's phone not have?

A home button.

What did the paintings name their daughter?

Palette.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

What is a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

What type of work can orphans do? Homework.

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.

What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?

One has a home.

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.