Whats jokes
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
A meme
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."