What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Whats Jokes
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na na.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
