Whats jokes
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Memes
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.