Whats jokes
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
Memes
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."