Whats jokes
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.