Whats jokes
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Memes
always happens to me
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.