Whats jokes
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Memes
what you get
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a fat Chinese guy?
A double chinkey.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow lady?
Snowballs!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!