Whats jokes
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
What do you call me?
Chinese?
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.