Whats jokes

People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?

mummy

What do you call a dog that tells the time?

A watchdog.

What do cows listen to on headphones?

moo-sic.

What did the tree say to the wind?

Leaf me alone.

What did the bank say to the person?

Bank you very much.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!