Whats jokes
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.