Whats jokes
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.