What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
Q. What's funnier than an AISH worker getting raped?
A. An AISH worker getting gang raped.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.
Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
