Whats jokes
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
"Where did you learn to do bookkeeping?"
"Yale."
"And what was your name again?"
"Yackson."
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
What is the difference between Reform and Restore UK?
The Name.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.
What's an Indian scammer's worst nightmare? Google Playstore points being redeemed.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.