What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
Whats Jokes
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.