Whats jokes
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.