Whats jokes
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."