Whats jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
What did Sally get for Christmas? Ligma?
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.