Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Whats Jokes
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.