Whats jokes
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.