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Whats jokes

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?

Alien vs Predator.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?

There was none, it was all white!

What would good be if it was a place?

It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

A man gets an email from his doctor.

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."

The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

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    • Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?

    There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.

    A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.

    A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!

    Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."

    What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?

    A baby with flat armbands!

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    • A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.

    "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.

    "What is it?" The doctor asks.

    "I can't feel my legs!"

    The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.

    ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

    What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?

    The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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