Whats jokes
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.