Whats jokes
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
What do Jews and Black people have in common?
Living off welfare checks.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.