Whats jokes
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.