What's happening

What's happening jokes

Ex

  • Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

    Person 2: “What happened?”

    Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

    Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

    Person 1: “I was in my car.”

    Panda

  • A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

    Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

    The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

  • 1
  • Hitler

  • My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

    I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

  • 2
  • Halloween

  • Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

    She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

  • 3
  • Pineapple

  • Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

    The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

    The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

    The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • Sorry for the interruption. I am ALYA, and I am disappointed in you guys. You shouldn't bully or make fun of orphans. They didn't choose their life or what happened in their life. What happens if you were an orphan and people were making fun of you? Would you like that?

    Baby

  • My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

    What happened?

    Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

    Fruit

  • Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

    So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

    They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

  • 3
  • President

  • What happened when Obama ran for president?

    The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

  • 3