What's happening

What's happening jokes

Pirate

    • Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

    “And yer hand?” asks Marty.

    “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

    “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

    “I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

    “But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

    “True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

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    • Flavor

    • Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

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    • Wife

    • Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

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    • Duck

    • Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

    Woman

    • A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.

    The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?

    Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!

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    • Mom

    • FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

    So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

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