Well jokes

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

Every 911 joke isn't that good.

Well, at least not until they come crashing down.

Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.

I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣

Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?

Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...

Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!

Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."