Well jokes

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.

P.S. If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...

What’s up with the foot feet?

What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."

What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.

Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*

Daddy:...

Timmy: Well come on diddy!

Daddy: Well shit lets go son!

Both: YEE YEE

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.