My dad said I should look if I could move a log well he had to go get milk
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider Man? Well, he weaved a really tangled web and Aunt May saw it.
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
What is the difference between an orphan and a apple?
Well at least one gets picked
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school. The teacher asked why he had one. He said “I need it to beat up the principal” when the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well i looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. all he says is "don't ask or you shall die"
The man walks into a bar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player the piano player starts playing the piano, the guy next to him asks where did you get that, the man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes, so the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside he says to the genie I want a million bucks, the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks appear in the road, the man comes back inside and says hey that genie is a little hard of hearing, the man says well did you really think I'd ask for a 12-in pianist
My friend said "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, your gay." so he did it and i said "Well i guess now he's straight" ;D
So my brother said we should start a band and I said I already had a band...so I gave him my band and said he was talking about music and I said well I do have a trum-bone ;)
So my mom said did you do your homework well I say yes and in the hour I yelled this is fake not real 😅😅😅
Wanna know something funny? Well there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage. Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke and then 9 months later I was born. My birthday. (4/1/06) April 1, 2006
The person I hate. Omg my mom and dad just died. Me. Omg I am so sorry dount worry. The person I hate. I have a boyfriend. Me well I have a mom and dad. The person I hate. Rood. Me. Shut up.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller." Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom:sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30 and there 18 so is it a reverse pedo? O well
wanna hear a short joke? well duh I mean that's why you're on here.... well hear one... My Life