Weight jokes
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
The chicken is so fat.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.