Weight jokes
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.