Weight jokes

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"