Weight jokes

Joe Mama's so fat, when she goes in the elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

What’s another name for a cow?

You... cause you're fat.

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."