Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.