Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat, she takes up the whole bed.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!