I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Weight Jokes
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
