Weight

Weight jokes

Yo mama

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Hippo

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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  • Fish

    How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

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  • Yo mama

    Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

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  • Fat

    You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

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  • Fat

    Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

    Mama

    Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

    Scale

    My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

    So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

    Magazine

    Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

    Fish

    Why are fish easy to measure?

    Because they bring their own scales.

    Location

    Location is in London by the way.

    One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

    His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"