Weight jokes
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.