Weight

Weight jokes

Japanese

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.

  • 1
  • Yo mama

    Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.

    Balance

    An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

    So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

    Earthquake

    One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

    Fat People

    My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

    Mom

    Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

    Mama

    Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    Fat

    Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

    11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

    Mama

    Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

    Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

    Ant

    If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

    (Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

    Mama

    Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."