Weight jokes
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.