Weight jokes

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

The earth used to be flat.

Till they buried yo mama.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

Marleigh is so fat and ugly.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!

Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...

It became TEAM, 10, TONS!

What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

140 calories.

Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.