Weight jokes
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on earth and the earth cracked.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.