Weapon jokes

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?

They'll end up only throwing the pin.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.