When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
