Weapon jokes
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.