Weapon jokes

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?

They'll end up only throwing the pin.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?

An orphan.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.