Weapon jokes

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?

They'll end up only throwing the pin.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger gun.