Weapon jokes
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫