Weapon jokes

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.

True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.

Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?

Because homing missiles don’t work on them.

Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!