Weapon jokes
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.