Weapon jokes
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
Slay.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.