Q : Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Die you potato I baked you a pie Oh boy which flavour Pie Pie Pie Pie Dad I'm hungry Hi hungry I'm dad Why did you name this way Why Why Why
Some kid- hey did you know theres an orphanage down the street?! Me-NO WAY! Wanna check it out? Kid-NO ITS HAUNTED!! Me- Haunted my ass lets go! Kid- wait isnt your house also haunted??? Me- yea
do *nut* get in my way
ok Gwen ill be offline for a while.... so if anyone by my name types anything its a fake. the only way u know its me if i say one of my nicknames. ok so yea take care of my account while im gone. BYE!!!!
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work but he was still really tired, so he decided the qiuckest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face. So he asked me to do it but I guess I don't know my own strangth and so-he went back to sleep again...
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
No Way Jose
Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!
You are in the air way how funny
Out of the way i need to caterpee
Why did the dog cross the road? It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.
85% of us are good at school while the other 15% is good at suicide
( teach me your ways 15% )
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist all women need to carry a 12inch dildo and a gun!
why was the milky way remembered... because its... DELICIOUS!
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
i have an announcement, shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissd on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and i said that's disgusting so im making a callout post on my twitter dot com shadow u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller
