Way jokes
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they don't know the way home!
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?