Way jokes

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.

The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

I'm emo, by the way.

Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.

Son: No way, you can’t see him though.

Mom: God!

Son: What?

Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).

Son: Also because I’m John Cena.

Mom: Where, where’d ya go?

John Cena: Hey, Mom.

Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.

What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?

Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.

Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?

Dress up as a piñata!

Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.

An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.