Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.
1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
