New Way Jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy

His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear

LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster

Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor

Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11

The best way to tell Hindu person and a Muslim person part is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid? Call them retarded

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn The windows we look through

One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand

How do u lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”

if a dog is white with black spots then it is 90% great and 10 % guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors