Water jokes

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

What do you call people who jumped in the dam?

A dam fool.

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣

How do you clean the ocean?

With tide!

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

What happens to teeth when they go in water?

Bro, I dunno, they get wet?

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in some laundry...

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.