Water jokes
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
Yo mama is so fat that every step she takes in the ocean creates a tsunami!
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️