Want jokes

Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.

Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

He wanted to be wanted.

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.