Want jokes

I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.

"I don't want to go on my at-home history."

- My friend, anon 2019.

One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."

Why did the camel cross the road?

Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.

When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

Why did the pillow cross the road?

Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(

I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Want to hear a joke? My life.

Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.

Why does an orphan commit a crime?

Because it wants to be wanted.

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.

Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?

Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?