Want jokes

"I don't want to go on my at-home history."

- My friend, anon 2019.

Are you the Twin Towers?

Because I want to smash you.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.