Want jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Memes
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!